HH never see me cry.
Maybe one when I bottled up and a sad movie squeezed those undefinable fluids out.
A winy bits.

I don't show my sadness easily. Maybe sadness means weakness.
I will never consent to show weaknesses.
Maybe only to HH. Even rarely so.

A sad story. A sad song. A sad movie.
"Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both."
- the monster told the boy who lost his mom to cancer and have to be brave.
Feeling relatable, I cried.

I thought I'd moved past this but I guess not.
Merely did I remember her voice, nor her gestures
How did she call my name or show me love?
What is her likes and dislikes?
Surely her food were always be flavourful
It's endless. Disfigured memories I wonder.
So I stop and let them go.
I stop questioning and I stop trying to remember things.
I let her go... to a very special place in mind (perhaps).
I know I shall be reminded every now and then.

Maybe these fluids aren't that bad after all.
Lighter and brighter. As it usually feel after.

Simon Phan

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